Chapter 3: Dee Jay’s Party part 1

(It’s Saturday at Capcom University, over in Dee Jay’s dorm room, Dee Jay is busy preparing for his party as he sets things up.)

Dee Jay: “No mon, the stage should go over there, near the fireplace!”

Miguel: “Why are you going to put it near the fireplace? It might catch fire.”

Dee Jay: “It’s my party, I’ll put things where I want mon.”

Miguel: “Whatever chief.”

(A few seconds later, a knock on the door is heard, Dee Jay goes to answer the door, he sees his roommate, Edmond Honda in the doorway with a big goofy grin on his face.)

Dee Jay: “Hey E. Hondizzle!”

E. Honda: “What’s shaking Dee Jizzle!”

Dee Jay: “Oh not much mon, just preparing for tonight’s party mon.”

E. Honda: “Oh fo’ sho’ bro.”

(The sound of grunting is heard as T. Hawk and Guts Man carry in kegs filled full of beer into the dorm room, T. Hawk places his keg down in the kitchen.)

T. Hawk: “How many freaking kegs did you order man?”

Dee Jay: “Enough for everyone that is coming, plus at the rate Rolento and his buddies drink, I had to order excess to make sure that everyone gets some beer mon.”

T. Hawk: “Ok, that’s all good man.”

Guts Man: “Yeah, as long as what happened at the last party doesn’t happen this time.”

(Flashback to the last party at the university, Midway-Konami student Bo Rai Cho (from Mortal Kombat Deadly Alliance) stumbles over to a keg, opens the keg, pukes in it and then closes it. He then walks off, with no one knowing what he did. Guts Man then walks over to the keg, pours himself a beer, and then drinks it, a sick expression crosses his face.)

Guts Man: “Ugh, I don’t feel so good.”

(Guts Man runs to the bathroom to puke, flashback ends)

T. Hawk: “Oh yeah, I know, that sucked.”

Guts Man: “You shouldn’t talk, you didn’t drink from that keg.”

E. Honda: “All I can say is this party will be off tha hizzle!”

Dee Jay: “Oh fo’ shizzle my nizzle E. Hondizzle!”

(Snoop Dogg walks in from out of nowhere.)

Snoop Dogg: “You gizzuys watch too much Doggy Fizzle Televizzle, but that’s cizzool, I’m outta hizzle, pizzeace homies!”

(Snoop Dogg leaves)

T. Hawk: “Dude, Snoop is an off the hook rapper!”

Dee Jay: “Just you wait until tonight, you gonna hear my mad flows mon!”

Miguel: “Sounds cool, and I’ll be there to make sure no one pukes in the kegs tonight!”

E. Honda: “Aw cool, now we’ll get to see what the author looks like.”

Guts Man: “Big deal, at least this means no puke in the beer and that’s all I care about.”

Dee Jay: “Anyways, let’s get back to setting up.”

(Flash forward to that night, Dee Jay and E. Honda start up the music, the doorbell rings, the first guests have arrived. Dee Jay goes to answer the door seeing Dhalsim and his break dancing posse in the doorway.)

Dee Jay: “Hey Dhalsim, what’s happenin’ mon?”

Dhalsim: “Same old, me and my crew are gonna do a break dance number if that’s all right with you.”

Dee Jay: “Yeah sure, you can go over your moves behind the stage mon.”

Dhalsim: “Ok, hey guys, let’s go practice our moves.”

(Following Dhalsim in is his break dancing crew which consists of Choi Bounge, Luigi, Billy Hatcher, Sabrewulf  (from Killer Instinct), Mog (from FFVI), Kano, and Tiger (from Tekken) they all head backstage to practice their moves, later on the doorbell rings again, I the author am at the door. I have my hair slicked back and am clothed in khaki pants, black sneakers, and a T-shirt that says “X Box sucks!” and the shirt has a picture of a Gamecube and PS2 pissing on an X Box)

Dee Jay: “Who are you mon?”

Miguel: “I’m the author damn it!”

Dee Jay: “Ok, the kegs are back there mon, enjoy!”

Miguel: “Ok, thanks man!”

Dee Jay: “One more thing, cool shirt!”

Miguel: “Aw thanks, talk to ya later man!”

(Eventually, Dee Jay and E. Honda’s dorm room is filled with avid party going students from each university; let’s go see what some of them are up to.)

Sakura: “Hey guys, I heard that the author is here.”

Yuri: “I know, he’s sitting near the kegs, and I’m a girl Sakura.”

Sakura: “I’m aware of that Yuri!”

(Elsewhere, Ken is busy talking to Link, the ladies man of Nintendo University.)

Ken: “So Link, how does it feel to have a girlfriend?”

Link: “It feels great because now I can get some ass anytime I want, but since I’m off the market, more women want me and I can’t do anything with them.”

Ken: “True, it would be wise for you to remain faithful to Zelda.”

Link: “Speaking of Zelda, where is she?”

Ken: “Over there.”

(Ken points to a table, Zelda is very drunk and dancing on the table, she is about to take off her shirt.)

Guile: “Whoo hoo! Take it off baby!”

Link: “Aw shit, excuse me buddy, I need to go get my girlfriend.”

(Link runs off to stop Zelda from acting stupid and starts to beat the crap out of Guile.)

Ken: “Poor Guile.”

Miguel: “Whaddaya mean poor Guile? He’s a pervert, he deserved that!”

Ken: “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Guile: “Fuck you, OWWWWWW! (Sobbing) I’m sorry Link, please stop hurting me.”

Link: “Apologize to Zelda too bitch!”

(Ken walks off to find either Ryu or Chun-Li while Link continues to pound Guile.)

Miguel: “We’ll come back to Ken later, right now let’s see what else is going on.”

(Elsewhere, the samurai fanatics are discussing Tom Cruise’s movie, “The Last Samurai.”)

Bishamon: “Why did they cast Tom Cruise in the lead role?”

Mitsurugi: “I know, aren’t samurais supposed to be Japanese?”

Haohmaru: “You know how Hollywood is, all the good movie roles go to white boys.”

Kenshi: “Aint that the butt naked truth.”

Bishamon: “Speaking of butt naked, take a look behind me.”

Kenshi: “Damn it! You know I’m blind!”

Bishamon: “I know. I was talking to the other guys.”

(They all look behind Bishamon to see Hinata Wakaba walking around the party bare naked and attracting many horny guys’ eyes over to her.)

Beatrix (from Final Fantasy IX): “I can’t believe Hinata, she’s copying my outfit!”

Steiner: “I know you look a lot better in it.”

Demitri: “What outfit? Ha!”

Zidane: “Don’t even trip Beatrix, Hinata is a slut, of course she is gonna do something stupid like that.”

Garnet: “Yeah, fuck Hinata!”

Hinata: “Who wants to fuck me?”

Garnet: “No one, now go away slut!”

Hinata: “Shut up prude!”

(Garnet and Hinata start arguing, Zidane goes to break it up until his buddy Locke Cole stops him.)

Locke: “Leave them be man, it’s not your fight.”

Zidane: “You just wanna watch them fight, don’t you?”

Locke: “No, I have Celes, now if you’ll excuse me, she’s waiting for me.”

(Locke leaves to go get lucky with Celes while Zidane, Steiner, and Beatrix watch Garnet and Hinata argue.)

Miguel: “Let’s go see what Mega Man is up to.”

(Mega Man is over by the kegs with Zero, Maki, and his girlfriend from Square-Enix University, Lucca Ashtear (from Chrono Trigger) having a conversation.)

Mega Man: “Dee Jay throws the most wickedly awesome parties!”

Maki: “Yeah, but I bet that I’m going to be puked on by the drunks.”

Lucca: “Why would they puke on you?”

Maki: “Because I’m a nerd.”

Mega Man: “You’re cool in our book.”

Maki: “Aw thanks, that’s sweet of you to say.”

(Meanwhile, a bunch of drunken guys are ready to spew.)

Rolento: “Oh man, I’m gonna barf.”

Bo Rai Cho: “Me too man!”

Miguel: “Time to launch my plan to keep the puke out of the kegs.”

(I create this small stand that says “FREE BARF BAGS” and start advertising them)

Miguel: “Barf bags! Get your free barf bags here, don’t push, I have plenty for everyone!”

(All the drunken guys run over and clear out my stock of barf bags in no time; some not even hearing the word “Free” pay me.)

Miguel: “Hey, there is good money in selling barf bags, I’m gonna start selling them at all the parties.”

Mega Man: “Good for you Mr. Author!”

Miguel: “Now let’s get back to Ken, we’ve left him hanging long enough.”

Ken: “It’s about damn time!”

(Ken finishes talking to another girl and walks around the dorm until he finds Ryu talking with Sakura and Yuri.)

Ken: “Hey Ryu!”

Ryu: “Oh hey Ken, where have you been?”

Ken: “Chatting with Link, keeping the girls off of me, the usual.”

Sakura: “Let me guess, you’re going to ask me where Chun-Li is.”

Ken: “Yeah, how did you know?”

Yuri: “She read the last chapter and saw your inner thoughts.”

Sakura: “You really like her don’t you?”

Ken: “Yeah, so have you seen her?”

Ryu: “No, but I’ll let you know if I do.”

Ken: “Thanks buddy, but I was talking to Sakura.”

Sakura: “Ryu just said what I was gonna say.”

Ken: “Shit! Oh well, thanks anyways, I’m gonna go look for her.”

(Ken walks off to go find Chun-Li; meanwhile, Dhalsim and his crew continue to go over their routine backstage.)

Mog: “Hey Dhalsim, when are we gonna perform, I wanna get me some beer kupo!”

Luigi: “Yeah, and Daisy is waiting for me so I can get lucky.”

Dhalsim: “We’ll be performing in about ten minutes, then after that, we’ll party hard!”

All of the break dancing crew: “Excellent!”

Miguel: “I’m gonna end this chapter here, but what else will happen at the party? Will the break dance routine kick ass?

Dhalsim: “Of course it will!”

Miguel: “Can I finish?”

Dhalsim: “Sorry.”

Miguel: “Will Dee Jay’s rapping turn out cool? Will Ken find Chun-Li? Stay tuned for the next chapter of Capcom U!”

Author’s Note: Part 2 of this party will contain more hilarious stuff, yeah there is quite a bit of things going on here so that’s why I decided to divide the party into two chapters. Please read and review, peace!