Disclaimer: The characters of SF are property of Capcom, not me.

(It’s Sunday, October 24^th, Chan wakes up from her bed to go to church.)

Chan: “Uh, another day, it’s my birthday, I’m 16 now, I wonder what I’m gonna do today.”

(Chan gets herself all dressed up nice and heads out the door with her family, as she leaves, her brother leaves the door unlocked. As soon as everyone is out of sight, every single SF character from Street Fighter 1, 2, 3, and Alpha run in the door followed by Jami, Dustin, Daryl, Stephanie, Jimmy, CMK, Tru, DeNice, Nitro, Josh, Lyrix, and Miguel.)

Jami: “Whoo-hoo! Another b-day fic!”

E. Honda: “Shall I make the cake again.”

Dustin: “Yeah, and make it bigger this time, we have more people to feed.”

E. Honda: “You got it.”

Sakura: “Do I have to get naked again?”

Daryl: “Not this time because Chan isn’t a lesbian.”

Steph: “But you can boss people around this time.”

Sakura: “Ok, Ryu give me a foot massage!”

Ryu: “You got it chief.”

(Ryu starts to give Sakura a foot massage.)

Jimmy: “I don’t think church is gonna be long enough for us to set up for this.”

Nitro: “Yeah, but there are more of us, we could set up a lot faster.”

Miguel: “True, but still we need to run a distraction, for there is a lot to do. CMK, go distract Chan, that’s your job.”

CMK: “All right, will do.”

Tru: “And Josh, you be lookout.”

Josh: “No problemo.”

(CMK and Josh head outside to do their jobs.)

DeNice: “What about the rest of us?”

Lyrix: “We’re all gonna set up in here or stay of the way if you aint gonna do anything.”

(Sagat is busy unloading munchies from Dustin’s car, and Adon is bugging him.)

Adon: “Hey Sagat! Hey Sagat! Hey Sagat! Hey Sagat! Hey Sagat!”

Sagat: “WHAT!”

Adon: “What are you doing?”

Sagat: “I’m getting the food ready damn it!”

Adon: “Can I help you? Can I help you? Can I help you?”

Sagat: “Yeah, make yourself useful, and shut up!”

Adon: “Shutting up.”

(Elsewhere, Dee Jay, Elena, and Sean are busy deciding what music to play.)

Dee Jay: “So what should we play this time?”

Elena: “Rock music, Chan is big on that type of stuff.”

Sean: “And techno, that stuff is kind of fun.”

Jami: “Yeah, lots and lots of rock.”

Dee Jay: “Let’s just play what we played last time.”

Elena: “So you mean rock, rap, reggae, techno, and Latin music?”

Sean: “Precisely, and some R&B too!”

Tru: “Sounds good to me.”

DeNice: “Sounds good to all of us.”

Hugo: “Not me, I wanna hear some polka.”

Sean: “Polka sucks.”

Hugo: “Damn, no love for the polka lovers.”

Jimmy: “Indeed.”

(Also, Gill and Urien are busy unloading a DDR machine and carrying it into Chan’s house.)

Nitro: “Aw man, why are they here?”

Gill: “The story did say everyone from SF1, 2, 3, and Alpha.”

Urien: “And besides, DDR is fun.”

Necro: “Amen!”

Gill: “Do you have a problem with us anyways?”

Nitro: “I just wish you guys would put some pants on.”

Necro: “Amen, we’re all tired of seeing you two walk around in thongs!”

Urien: “All right, we’ll put on some pants after we set up the DDR machine.”

Daryl: “Thank goodness.”

(Over on the couch, Guile and Charlie are busy going over a document.)

Steph: “Hey what you guys looking at?”

Guile: “It’s confidential!”

Charlie: “Let’s just tell them all right, after all this is just a fiction.”

Guile: “We’re planning something called “Operation Kill Van Damme” ok.”

Lyrix: “Why do you wanna kill Van Damme?”

Charlie: “Because of that god awful SF movie, it made us all look bad.”

M. Bison: “Well, all of us that were in it.”

Chun Li: “Mind if I join this mission, I hated that movie.”

Fei Long: “At least the actress that played you was sexy though, I wasn’t even in the movie, I’m in on this mission too!”

Ken: “I hate the way I was portrayed in that garbage, I’m gonna help out too.”

M. Bison: “Count me in as well!”

Ken: “Whoa, Guile and M. Bison working side by side on something, I never thought I’d see this.”

Chun Li: “You and me both.”

E. Honda: “I’d help, but I’m too busy making this cake.”

Guile: “Ok then, let’s go over the mission folks!”

(All around the house, decorations are being set up.)

Vega: “At least these decorations are nicer than the last time.”

Q: “Well, because they are more feminine, this b-day party is for a chick anyways.”

Vega: “I know that, that’s why they look nice.”

Q: “You’re way too metrosexual Vega.”

T. Hawk: “Enough bickering you two, these decorations aren’t gonna put themselves up you know.”

Alex: “Yeah, I’m tired of setting up balloons and all that crap, I wanna do something else.”

T. Hawk: “You heard the man, so let’s get this done as soon as we can.”

Alex: “So get the lead out and no more bickering over this stuff.”

Q and Vega: “Yes sir Alex sir!”

(Oro pulls out a Playboy magazine and begins reading it.)

Oro: “Yeah, this is nice, since Sakura isn’t baring it all this time, I’ll bring my own entertainment.”

Lee: “Let me see that too.”

Gen: “Don’t forget me.”

Oro: “C’mon Gen, you can’t even wake up your package.”

Gen: “I took Viagra, that stuff really works.”

Lee: “Well then, come enjoy the peep show then!”

Rose: “Ay, you three are still dirty old men.”

Oro: “Of course we are, didn’t you hear us the last time?”

Rose: “I know, you guys are gonna be that way until you’re dead old men.”

Gen: “Damn right!”

Rose: “I’m gonna go talk to Dhalsim, at least he isn’t dirty!”

(Rose walks over to Dhalsim.)

Dhalsim: “Oh, hi Rose, I’m busy setting up the decorations right now.”

Rose: “Let me help you, I can’t stand being around the dirty old men any longer.”

Dhalsim: “I know, I’m not hanging around them either, I don’t wanna get aroused this time.”

Rose: “Why not, you got every other guy jealous of you?”

Dhalsim: “Because Zangief and Eagle are around.”

Zangief: “Me still want Dhalsim long package!”

Eagle: “Yeah, so do I mate.”

Dhalsim: “You’re out of luck this time.”

Eagle: “Aw c’mon cut us some slack.”

Dhalsim: “Sorry, but I’m straight.”

Zangief: “Crap!”

(Dan walks up to Remy and Dudley.)

Dan: “Hey Remy, do you have anymore turd and piss, I loved it the last time and I want more.”

Remy: “One moment please.”

Dudley (whispering): “I can’t believe he actually thinks it’s a French delicacy.”

Remy (whispering): “Let’s have him eat two turds and a glass of piss again, it’ll be funny!”

Dudley: “Balrog, get over here!”

Balrog: “You called Dudley.”

Dudley: “Piss in the glass, poop on the plate ok.”

Balrog: “Okie dokie!”

Miguel: “Let’s go see if CMK is doing his job.”

(Church lets out, Chan is walking out of the doors when she sees CMK waving at her.)

Chan: “Hey Stephen, what are you doing here?”

CMK: “What, I can’t come by and see my friend on her birthday?”

Chan: “I didn’t say that, so what do want with me?”

CMK: “I’ll treat you to lunch if you’d like.”

Chan: “Sounds good to me!”

(CMK helps Chan get in this car and they drive off. So back to the party)

Jami: “Good Stephen!”

(Ibuki is walking around with a medal around her neck that says “Best SF Ninja”)

Makoto: “All hail Ibuki, the greatest ninja, the most popular character in SF3.”

Geki: “The person who tried to put my nuts in a Salad Shooter!”

Makoto: “All hail Ibuki!”

Ibuki: “Yes, sing the song of me, the greatest ninja in Street Fighter history!”

Guy: “She only won that argument because she has a lot of hentai!”

Geki: “How do you know that?”

Makoto: “I told you guys that remember.”

Guy: “That and I have a lot of it.”

Ibuki: “You’re a naughty boy Guy!”

Geki: “Can you give me some?”

Guy: “Sure why not, marvel in her beauty.”

Maki: “What, you have hentai of her but not of me?”

Guy: “I couldn’t find any of you?”

Maki: “You son of a bitch, I’ll kill you!”

(Maki starts chasing Guy around as Guy screams and runs away. Geki, Ibuki and Makoto all laugh at Guy.)

Birdie: “Shouldn’t you go help your friend Cody?”

Cody: “Nah, he can handle Maki on his own, besides it’s not my business.”

Birdie: “I want a rematch with you.”

Cody: “I’ll just win again because storyline wise I’m more powerful than you are.”

Birdie: “Crud, ok forget it.”

Josh: “I’m getting bored out here, there isn’t anyone to talk to.”

Sakura: “Ok, Akuma, go outside and do lookout with Josh.”

Akuma: “Why me?”

Sakura: “Because you did a good job last time during Tru’s b-day.”

Akuma: “Oh all right.”

(Akuma goes outside to be lookout alongside Josh.)

(Joe walks around with a T-shirt on that says, “I’m a failure”)

Cody: “Hey Joe what’s with the shirt?”

Joe: “Well I was considered a failure by my own creator so I got a shirt made that said I am a failure.”

Cody: “C’mon man, you’re not a complete failure.”

Joe: “Oh yeah, name one good thing I did.”

Cody: “You were the base for my fighting style.”

Joe: “Hmm, you’re right about that, guess I’m not a complete failure after all.”

Cody: “Exactly.”

(Retsu dances around the house waving a wad of cash)

Karin: “Hey, where’d you get the cash Retsu?”

R. Mika: “Did you find work?”

Retsu: “Yes I did.”

Karin: “Doing what?”

Retsu: “I’m a gigolo.”

R. Mika: “A jigga what?”

Retsu: “Women pay me to give them pleasure.”

Karin: “That’s a disturbing sight.”

Sakura: “Oh yeah, well I want you and Mika to draw a picture of Retsu giving the BOTH of you pleasure, so do it now, you don’t want to be on my bad side!”

R. Mika: “Shit!”

(Elsewhere, Yun and Yang are busy flirting with Juli and Juni once again.)

Yun: “Hello Juli!”

Yang: “Hello Juni!”

Juli: “Hey, good to see you guys again.”

Juni: “Let me guess, you wish to engage in intercourse with us once again.”

Yun: “You can say that again!”

Juni: “Let me guess, you wish to engage in intercourse with us once again.”

Yang: “Yep, so how about it?”

Juli: “Ok, we enjoyed it last time.”

(Yun and Yang drag Juli and Juni off somewhere to get it on.)

Balrog: “Hey Dudley, I got the shit!”

Dudley: “Did you get the piss too?”

Balrog: “Yeah.”

Remy: “Sweet, oh Dan, we got your two turds and a glass of piss ready if you want it.”

Dan: “Oyaji! I love that stuff.”

Blanka: “Oh c’mon Dan, you really like feasting on someone’s urine and excrement?”

Dan: “It’s a French delicacy.”

Blanka: “But the French people are weirdoes.”

Ken (whispering): “Hey guys, Dan is about to fall for the same prank again!”

Fei Long: “I can’t believe he actually thinks that’s a French delicacy.”

Chun Li (whispering): “I guess it’s good that he doesn’t go to French restaurants.”

Dan: “Oh I love this stuff.”

Dudley: “Well you’re our buddy Dan so we’ll let you have it whenever you want.”

Dan: “Thanks.”

Blanka (inner thoughts): “Dan you’re an idiot.”

(Adon is also still bugging Sagat)

Adon: “Hey Sagat! Hey Sagat! Hey Sagat!”

Sagat: “WILL YOU JUST LEAVE ME THE SHIT ALONE?”

Adon: “Give me a dollar and I’ll leave you alone.”

Sagat: “Damn I don’t have my wallet on me.”

Rolento: “I’d give you a dollar, but I wasted my money on grenades.”

Sodom: “I don’t have dollars, I have yen.”

Adon: “I don’t want yen, I want a dollar!”

Sagat: “Hey Retsu, can I borrow a dollar, I’ll pay you back in the next b-day fic.”

Retsu: “Sure, Adon annoys the crap out of me too so it’s understandable.”

(Sagat takes the dollar from Retsu and gives it to Adon.)

Adon (singing): “I got a dollar, I got a dollar, I got a dollar! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Lyrix: “It’s good that he’s not bugging you anymore, but that singing is annoying!”

Jami: “Adon, don’t make me hold you down and duct tape your mouth shut!”

Adon: “Shutting up!”

(Jimmy and DeNice are busy making fried chicken, Dee Jay, Elena, and Sean try to steal a piece of chicken, but all get their hands slapped!)

Jimmy: “No, bad Street Fighters!”

Dee Jay: “Oh mon, we’re hungry!”

Sean: “Yeah, can’t we take a lunch break now?”

Miguel: “Oh all right, everybody, lunch time!”

E. Honda: “Whoo-hoo! Lunch!”

Ryu: “Can I go eat Sakura, my hands are getting tired.”

Sakura: “Oh ok.”

(Jami’s phone rings, it’s CMK on the phone)

Jami: “Stephen, how are you doing at distracting Chan?”

CMK: “Good, I took her to the movies.”

Jami: “Good, that will give us some time, don’t worry we’re almost done.”

CMK: “Good, I’ll see you guys later.”

Jami: “Bye.”

(After finishing their lunch, everyone continues doing what they were doing.)

Guile: “All right, if we can gather more people, soon we will be able to carry out this mission!”

Charlie: “Yes, and then Van Damme will no longer taint the world with his horrible movies.”

M. Bison: “And Raul Julia can stop turning over in his grave!”

Chun Li: “He did that movie because his kids were fans of the game, so I don’t think he regrets doing that movie, after all, his acting was pretty good.”

Ken: “Yeah, too bad it was his last movie.”

Fei Long: “What a way to end your career.”

Alex: “Bloodsport was Van Damme’s only good movie!”

T. Hawk: “Yeah it was, after that, it was all downhill for him.”

Q: “Us three are getting in on this, after all, we are done setting up the decorations.”

(Cammy and Twelve are still busy wrapping Chan’s presents)

Cammy: “Damn this stupid wrapping paper, it’s getting on my nerves!”

Tru: “You mean you didn’t take time to learn how to wrap a gift in the time between my b-day and Chan’s, what were you doing for four and a half months?”

Cammy: “Promoting the Street Fighter Anniversary Collection, and the comics, and the action figures.”

Twelve: “10010010100010100010001000100100010100100”

Gill (now in priest robes): “He was promoting it too.”

Miguel: “But he can’t speak English, why would he promote it.”

Urien (now dressed in a business suit): “I was there to translate for him.”

DeNice: “Hopefully in not just a thong.”

Urien: “Nah, I was fully dressed.”

Nitro: “Good.”

Dustin: “Any of you that know how to wrap a gift go help Cammy and Twelve!”

Oro: “Sorry I’m busy!”

Gen: “Me too!”

Dhalsim: “I’ll do it, at least it’s something to do.”

Rose: “I’ll help too, it keeps me away from the three dirty old men.”

(With Dhalsim and Rose’s help, Cammy and Twelve finish wrapping the gifts. Also, E. Honda has finished making the cake.)

E. Honda: “Behold my masterpiece.”

Sodom: “Once again, that cake could feed Godzilla!”

E. Honda: “Who wants to help me frost it?”

Eagle: “I will.”

Vega: “Me too!”

Makoto and Ibuki: “Count us in!”

Rolento: “I’ll put the candles on!”

Steph: “No dynamite this time!”

Rolento: “I know that!”

(Within five minutes, the huge cake is finally frosted. Jami’s phone rings again, CMK is on the phone once again.)

CMK: “Are you guys done yet?”

Jami: “Yeah, we got everything pretty much set up now.”

CMK: “Good because we’re on our way.”

Jami: “Ok later.”

Miguel: “Hey guys, Chan’s coming soon, so if you’re not finished with your job, hurry up and finish!”

Daryl: “Yeah get the lead out of your butts!”

(With that said, everyone speeds up their jobs and the entire party is set up. Just as soon as Akuma and Josh burst into the door)

Akuma and Josh: “Chan’s coming, hide everyone!”

(Everyone gets into their hiding places, Chan and CMK open the door to her house and as soon as she turns on the lights, everyone jumps out of their hiding places)

All: “Surprise! Happy Birthday Chan!”

Chan: “What the, so this is why you took me places Stephen?”

CMK: “Exactly, I was supposed to distract you so we could set up for your party.”

Chan: “Oh, well thanks guys, it’s really sweet.”

(Everyone gives Chan a hug and then her gifts. After all the SF characters give Chan her gifts, the guys pull something out for her.)

Miguel: “We took the liberty of taking someone you hate and making him your own personal piñata.”

(The piñata is none other than a big stupid hacker.)

Chan: “Yay! A hacker piñata, thanks guys!”

Miguel: “Not too mention this b-day fic is from all of us.”

Chan: “Again, thanks!”

(Chan grabs a metal baseball bat and then starts whacking the hacker until she gets tired of it.)

Chan: “Ok, I’m tired, now let’s have some cake!”

(Everyone begins to party, later that day, Chan, Jami, and Steph are in another room.)

Jami: “How did you enjoy the party Chan?”

Chan: “It was great.”

Steph: “Well Sakura came up with another gift for you.”

(A stage appears from out of nowhere and Guy, Cody, Yun, Yang, Ken, and Ryu all come out wearing tight black leather clothing.)

Sakura: “You’re gonna get your own little show for your sweet sixteen.”

(All six guys begin to start dancing for Chan while Chan takes turns smacking all of their booties.)

So in short, we say happy birthday Chan. And may you have many more great ones to come!

THE END