Chapter 1: Intro

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters, aside from the author, because I’m the author.

(Opening montage of Capcom University, Even Stevens music is playing, Shia LaBeouf (Louis Stevens) jumps out and starts dancing to the music)

Miguel: “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Shia what are you doing here?”

Shia: “I heard the Even Stevens music playing.”

Miguel: “Well this isn’t Even Stevens!”

Shia: “I kind of figured that out myself.”

Miguel: “Well get the hell outta here!”

Shia: “Can I read this fanfic?”

Miguel: “That’s what it’s here for.”

Shia: “Thanks, peace out man!”

(Shia leaves; montage finishes, cut to Ryu and Ken’s dorm room. Ryu is sleeping and Ken isn’t there. The alarm clock goes off, Ryu sleepily feels around for the off button, he then whacks the alarm clock hard. Ryu then sits up in bed and sleepily rubs his eyes; he grabs a note next to the alarm clock and reads it.)

Ryu: “Ryu I left early to train, see you in class buddy. Signed, Ken.”

(Ryu then mumbles something incoherent and gets out of his bed. He then walks over to the window and looks outside of it, he sees an alarm clock go flying out a window (Batsu is up) and hitting someone on the head.)

Ryu: “Nothing new.”

(Ryu then grabs his towel and heads into the bathroom. He turns on the showerhead, checks to see if the water is hot enough, removes his pajamas, and then hops in the shower, Ryu then proceeds to sing, dance, and fart in the shower.)

Ryu (singing): “Welcome to Capcom University, my name is Ryu and I’m feeling happy! It’s a cool school here, as long you don’t act like a fool and the sexy girlies here make you wanna drool. The ladies drool over my homie Ken Masters, which makes all the jealous guys, act like fucking bastards. (Puts on a vampire cape and imitates Demitri) I’m Demitri Maximov and I like to jack off, I’m a total asshole who wants to smash your skull. I got a babe named Morrigan and she’s a total bitch, I want sex from her and she gives me a sandwich! (Puts on Hinata’s head band and imitates Hinata) My name is Hinata and I’m a total slut, I like it in the front and I like it in the butt. Screw me hardcore leave me begging for more, I’m Capcom University’s favorite whore. (Puts on Mega Man’s helmet and imitates Mega Man) I’m the brainiac here, call me Mega Man, I’ve got armor that’s tougher than an iron frying pan. The worst part about being smart is plain to see, it’s that everybody else tries to copy off of me. (Back to normal) That’s the end of the song, I hope you had a blast, I would sing more but I have to go to class!”

(Ryu gets out of the shower, wraps his towel around his lower body, he then goes and gets dressed in his boxer shorts followed by a white T-shirt, blue jeans, black sneakers, and his Letterman’s jacket. Ryu then grabs his backpack and leaves his dorm, as he walks the halls to his class, he sees Zero in front of his locker looking in a mirror which he calls “Precious”)

Ryu: “Hi Zero.”

Zero: “Hi Precious.”

Ryu: “No, I’m Ryu.”

Zero: “Oh sorry, hey Ryu what’s up?”

Ryu: “I’m just chilling.”

Zero: “Ok cool, see ya in class man!”

(Ryu exits the building, on his way to another building, he sees Guy climbing the flagpole trying to get Dan Hibiki down who is hanging from the top of the flagpole by his tightie whities.)

Ryu: “Hey Guy, what happened?”

Guy: “Bison hung Dan from the flagpole, as always.”

Ryu: “Ok, just be careful in getting down man.”

Dan: “Oyaji!”

Ryu: “I’m not your daddy.”

(Ryu then heads into another building, and into Dr. Thomas Light’s English class, he sees Mega Man, Kyosuke Kagami, Guile, and Captain Commando already in class waiting for it to start.)

Kyosuke: “Oh hey Ryu.”

Mega Man: “What’s up?”

Captain Commando: “Greetings Earthling!”

Ryu: “You guys waiting for Dr. Light to show up?”

Kyosuke: “There isn’t much else to do in the morning.”

Mega Man: “Hey Ryu, do you think that we’ll kick Midway-Konami’s ass in the football game this Friday?”

Ryu: “Yeah I think we will, we’ve won two out of our first three games so far.”

Captain Commando: “Well Rare and Sega University have horrible teams this year.”

Mega Man: “But we did lose to Nintendo University.”

Ryu: “Hey, Nintendo has a good team this year, and we lost because of that idiotic mistake Guile made in kicking the field goal.”

(Flashback to the Capcom vs. Nintendo game, Guile takes the field in an attempt to kick a field goal, the ball is snapped, Guile runs to kick the ball.)

Guile: “Flash Kick!”

(The football flies backwards, all the way through Nintendo’s goalpost, giving them the three points, the crowd groans in disappointment.)

Ren (from Ren and Stimpy): “YOU IDIOT GUILE!”

(Flashback ends)

Guile: “Aw, why do you have to rub it in like that?”

Captain Commando: “May the force be with you guys in the upcoming game.”

(The door opens again, and Ken Masters bolts through the door breathing hard. He smoothes out his azure blue button down shirt and black pants and heads over to his seat.)

Kyosuke: “The girls all over you again?”

Ken: “Yeah, I almost had to Hadoken one of them she was that crazy.”

Kyosuke: “You have all the damn luck with the ladies, I thought they liked sharp dressed guys.”

Ken: “I’m sharp dressed too, and I have a personality that they like.”

Mega Man: “As well as something else they like, cash!”

All: “Cha-ching!”

Ken: “Yeah, that’s true but I don’t want no gold digger.”

Guile: “Word!”

Ken: “To be honest, I’m looking for a serious girlfriend now, I’m sick of groupies.”

Guile: “Dude, your fucking crazy to say that!”

Ken: “We all have to grow up sometime, besides I’m not a pervert like you!”

Guile: “Ok, you can quit playing “Make fun of Guile” now.”

(Zero, Guy, Maki, Dan, Cammy, Morrigan, and Demitri all walk into class.)

Demitri: “Why should we stop making fun of you? It’s fun.”

Zero: “It’s only fun when your not the one making fun of us, you’re an asshole.”

Demitri: “Fuck you narcissist!”

(The door opens again and Sakura walks into the classroom and heads over to her boyfriend, Ryu.)

Sakura: “Hey, why didn’t you call me last night?”

Ryu: “Sorry baby, I was real bushed from the drills I had to run last night.”

(Ryu and Sakura kiss each other on the lips; Demitri rolls his eyes at the couple.)

Demitri: “Why don’t you get a room you two, this is supposed to be PG-13.”

Miguel: “No dumbass, this is rated R, didn’t you read the summary?”

Demitri: “No.”

Miguel: “Who here has read the summary of this fanfic?”

(Everyone except Demitri raises his or her hand.)

Miguel: “Enough talk, back to the story!”

Demitri: “Ok, well just get a room anyways!”

Ken: “You’re just pissy cuz Morrigan isn’t putting out for you.”

Demitri: “Shut up Deuce Bigalow!”

Ken: “I’m not a gigolo, I’m a ladies man, a gigolo gets paid to have sex with a woman, I don’t get paid for sex, so I’m a ladies man, get that through your thick blood sucking skull beeyotch!”

Ryu: “Easy Ken, Demitri aint worth your time.”

Maki: “Yeah fuck Demitri.”

Morrigan: “No, fuck you bitch!”

Cammy: “You’re the bitch here Morrigan!”

Guy: “C’mon, this arguing is pointless.”

Maki: “Yeah, I agree with Guy.”

(Everyone else nods except for Demitri and Morrigan who just grunt. The classroom door opens again and Chun-Li walks in, all the guys except for Ryu and Demitri stare at her, and Cammy stares at her too!)

Chun-Li: “Hey Ryu, hey Ken.”

Ken: “Oh hi Chun-Li, long time no talk!”

Chun-Li: “I’ve been busy, college swamps you with a shitload of homework.”

Ryu: “Word, me and Ken already had to pull three all-nighters.”

Chun-Li: “Damn, so anyways, you guys wanna go clubbin’ tonight?”

Ryu: “Yeah, if I can bring Sakura with me.”

Chun-Li: “She’s your girlfriend, go ahead.”

Ken: “You goin’ to Dee Jay’s party this Saturday?”

Chun-Li: “Of course I am.”

Ken: “Ok then, we’ll talk to you later tonight.”

(Chun-Li sits down, the other guys look at Ryu and Ken in envy.)

Mega Man: “How come she talks to you guys?”

Ken: “All three of us have been friends since childhood.”

Zero: “I envy you guys.”

Mega Man: “You know what?”

Ryu: “What?”

Mega Man: “I’ve got a full on robot chubby!”

Guile: “Ditto, except for the robot part.”

(The bell rings, the rest of the class runs in, followed by Dr. Light who casually walks over to his desk and takes out his lesson plan.)

Dr. Light: “Ok class, pay attention because we have a lot to learn today.”

Mr. Hat: “You can say that again Mr. Garrison.”

Dr. Light: “You’re in the wrong place buddy.”

Mr. Hat: “Oh sorry.”

Dr. Light: “Wait, why the hell am I talking to a sock puppet?”

Mr. Hat: “What! Screw you old fart!”

(Mr. Hat spits in Dr. Light’s face and then leaves, Dr. Light then begins his lecture, later that day after completing their assignments, Ryu and Ken prepare to go clubbing with Chun-Li and Sakura.)

Ryu: “Hey Ken, you know how you said you were looking for a serious girlfriend?”

Ken: “Yeah, what about that?”

Ryu: “Why don’t you go for Chun-Li, she isn’t a gold digger or a groupie?”

Ken: “You’re right about that, I’ll think about it later, now let’s go, we have to meet the girls at the club.”

(Ryu and Ken finish getting ready and then head over to Ken’s car, a black Cadillac Escalade with gold rims and hubcaps, a leather interior, a speaker system with sub-woofers and many other features I don’t want to name. Ken and Ryu get in the car and drive off to the club.)

Miguel: “The first chapter is done, what will happen next? Will Capcom beat Midway-Konami? Will Ken find a serious girlfriend? Will Demitri get laid? Stay tuned for the next chapter of Capcom U!”

Author’s Note: This is the first chapter, hopefully you liked it. Well I’m off to move on to writing the next chapter. Please read and review! Peace!